It's "Up" to You!

Last evening my mother and I settled in on her bed to watch a movie. Since she had never seen Disney/Pixar's  Up in it's entirety, Up was the clear choice. This movie has many spectacular characteristics: the foreshadowing, the placement and selection of music, but after watching it for the 3rd time, the lessons really soaked in. 

Without going into great detail about the plot of the movie, or the plot of my thoughts, I learned the importance of letting go. For the majority of the movie Carl carries the grief of the passing of his wife, his attachment to his material possessions, and his mindset that his ways are best. These three things hold him back from relationships and ultimately life to its fullest. 

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There is a change of heart. At the beginning of the movie Carl tried to save the pictures of Ellie before making sure Russell is okay. Carl is focused solely on perserving Ellie's memory and doing what she would have wanted, but it is in this goal that he gets confused. He focuses so much on one goal that he looses sight of the bigger picture. While trying to accomplish this goal he is unkind, and uncaring, and he has to realize that the people in his life (whether he selected them to be there or not) are the most important. He comes through and saves Kevin, Doug, and Russell, but he can only do this by letting go of his house, the chairs where he and Ellie would sit, the pictures of her, and his dream of completing Ellie's goal. When he hands over what he wants, and looks out for others, he finds that his dream does come true, and Ellie's does too. Carl finds a note from her, telling him to have his own adventure. In the end he realizes that he is on his own adventure, and that if he can let go of everything he clings to, he can have many more. 

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It is very fitting that the message this morning was based on Mark 10:46-52. The man healed in the story (Bartimaeus) is  a lot like Russell, ready for adventure and willing to give up what ever it takes to get his badge (including putting up with a cranky, older man, and flying far away from home). 

This contrasts well with the character Carl, and the passage found in Luke 9:57-62, where the man wants to have adventure and follow Jesus, but he asks first to go and bury his father. 

Whether we learn lessons from Disney, the bible, or a bit of both, it is important to remember the importance of people. It doesn't matter if we are a priests or Levites, if we just walk by a man who is beaten on the side of the road, we will not be living life to its fullest, and we will not be expressing the importance of people. 

Relationships are why we are here, 

so let's embrace adventure and try our best to look Up and let go. 

Kindness Cures

I was cleaning out my wallet the other day, and I found many pieces of kindness.
Among these were four that stood out.

1. A Phone Number-Kindness of a Servant
2. Salvation Army Calendar-Kindness of my Roommate
3. Blood Donar Sticker-Kindness of Me
4. A Business Card- Kindness of a Stranger

1. My first day at my "new" church, I ended up sitting beside a middle aged man to whom my spirit was drawn. He scribbled down a number next to his name and his beautiful wife's name. Long story short, this family has pretty much taken me in as part of their own family, (as they strive to do with all of the university students that attend their church). Their servant's heart is so evident, and their kindness continues to cure my homesickness. Whether with a home-cooked meal, a great conversation, or a trip down memory lane, this beautiful couple always finds a way to encourage me in my studies and in my strive to serve the Lord. 

2. The small Salvation Army Calendar in my wallet reminds me of my roommate, and no matter what her financial situation, this young, beautiful female ALWAYS gives to charity. I look up to her in this way. No matter how much or how little she has, she cures someone with coins. 

3. My Blood Donar appointment card sits in my wallet, because I am not allowed to place it's sticker on my calendar for another 2 years. I keep it in my wallet to remind me to pray for cures to come from the daily donations, and to remind me to help be an ambassador. If you are under 110lbs you can still have a hand in donating by encouraging your friends to donate!

4. Last, but not least is the business card of a female taxi driver. It was a cold night in December and I had had a bit of a rough evening. My roommate was at work, so I called my best friend and within moments he was on his way to meet me. We walked back to his place and just talked for a very long time. We had been going through a bit of a snag in our friendship and this night seemed to be a healing for us. It was a perfect night. Even though one relationship in my life ended, another was reconciled. The fun part of the night came as my friend called me a cab and we waited on his step. As the cab pulled up I hugged my friend goodbye and got in the van. Before the driver even said "hello" she said, "so, you were at your boyfriend's house, were ya?" I stared at her, confused, and then BURSTED out laughing. The cab driver and I had a long talk that seemed to be both healing for her and for I. So I keep her card in my wallet for when I need to be cured with a good laugh and a great memory of the night before my best friend's baptism, when our friendship was cured. 

Even a few words of kindness can be words of healing.

What cures do you keep with you? 

Pass It On

This week I learned the importance of "Passing". 

1. The Children's Story in church was on the importance of passing on God's love. Pastor Marc set up a box of dominios and showed the congregation just how easy it can be to show love to a lot of people. You just have to start with one! Wow! The dominio effect is so great that way! Passing is important. 

2. Upon returning to my hometown and my home church this week, I was asked to do many things already, and I said "heck yes!" to most of them, but it was important that I passed on a few. I passed on helping out with the quilt show, because it is really important to me to go see the graduations of two university where I have many friends. Passing is important. 

3. Recently I bought a beautiful mug that read "Keep Calm and Drink Tea". It was a beautiful light blue mug that was big enough to hold the necessary amount of tea, but dainty enough to fit in my hand. I was a bit reluctant, but I convinced myself that a friend of mine deserved it much more than I, so I passed it on. One of my friends likes tea (maybe more than I do), and was having a rough week, so I passed on my purchase and she was ecstatic! It was a step forward in our friendship. (I LOVE steps forward!) 

Tuesday while having tea with a "mentor" of mine, she brought out a gift wrapped in brown paper, and as I opened it I'm pretty sure I had a HUGE smile on my face. It was a tea pot that read "Keep Calm and Drink Tea". I don't believe in karma, but I believe in passing love. I would not have appreciated this tea pot as much as I did, if I had not passed on the cup I bought. I gave away a tiny mug that meant a lot to me, and two weeks later I was given a TEA POT that means EVEN MORE to me! 

Well to quote the famous hymn, 

"That's how it is with God's love,

Once you've experienced it.

You want to sing, it's fresh like spring, 

You want to pass it on."

So whether it's your love, your time, or a gift, it is important to pass it on, because it has to move to multiply. And boy will it multiply, just like bread and fishies! But you have to push the first dominio to see the rest move, and I guarantee that what you get back will be ten times what you gave. 

This week I was reminded that not only is it alright to pass...it is important to pass! 

That is a bit of why I even bother to write, to pass on what I learn.
Just passing on what I learned this week. 

-Annie

What in your life will you pass this week?

Shift Happens

This year there was a shift in my life.

                                 I went from being merely "content" with my life...

                                                                                        to being ELATED with my life.

Instead of feeling that I'm missing out on things in life, 

I realized how much of a gift "missing out" can be!

This was the year of shifting friendships.  

I felt a great divide happen between myself and friends that do a lot of partying. 

We just seemed to have less and less in common, and grew apart. 

Shift. 

On a good note, I discovered that

Birch Beer is one of my favourite

kinds of beer. 

(Second only to Root Beer).

I tried my first Birch Beer

at a cafe downtown. 

It was refreshing on a hot day, 

and quenched my thirst.

Birch Beer used to be used for medicinal purposes, 

but now a days it is a soda that tastes like cola with spearmint flavour. 

Not only was I content drinking my "Birch" Beer, 

I was ELATED! 

This year also came with a shift in perspective. 

This year was filled with many engagements, I'm talking like 17 of my friends, 2 of the weddings have happened already. As for me, the leading man in my life has been, and always will be, Jesus. 

For the majority of my life I have been set on a goal get married and have children, like 5 or six kids....but not only am I content with "just me", I am ELATED! I would be absolutely happy if this was the only ring to ever sit on my ring finger. No single-ness blues here!

(Except for the blue on my lips, teeth, and tongue!)

Shift. 

Shift is new,

            Shift is natural

                    & Shift is necessary.

No Rain on my Parade!

These past few days were supposed to be the worst of the semester
                                                                         ...but I had bight and sunshiny days!

Final Papers were not only a breeze,
but they were ENJOYABLE.

Final Projects and Presentations
were created in less than 12 hours,
but were fabulous.

To the right is my final project for American Literature.

My one exam was FUN to write.

Saying goodbyes to Professors was easy,
because I'll have classes with all of my
favourite ones next year.

Leaving my apartment was fine.

Saying "see you soon" to friends was enjoyable:
-I had a wonderful time downtown with Amanda,
-Dan came the night before, and the morning I left.
-Roommate and I had many hugs.

And packing was done in a few hours,
and EVERYTHING fit in the car!



Friday and Saturday's weather forecast was FILLED with rain

                                                                                ...but I didn't feel a drop.

Here are a few photos from my journey. 

The car really was PACKED!

My keyboard is in the green case, and the guitar is under it.

 It truly was a beautiful day, even though I anticipated showers, sadness, and silence.

 I thought that maybe the rain would come once I was home...

 but it was one piece of good news after the next.

This picture is my favourite, it reminds me of Isaiah 40:31,

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. 

They will soar on wings like eagles; 

they will run and not grow weary, 

they will walk and not be faint."

The bird in the picture is me.

I flew from sunny sky, into sunny sky, all because of hope. 

It was wonderful to be reunited with my family, church family and my community.

Tomorrow will be even better,

because even if it rains, 

there will always be sunny skies to fly into.

Monday Blues to Monday Blessings

Mondays.

Mondays during exam week.
Mondays during exam week, waking up and it is foggy and cold.
Mondays during exam week, waking up and it is foggy and cold, realizing how much you have left to do and pack.
Mondays during exam week, waking up and it is foggy and cold, realizing how much you have left to do and pack, getting bad news about your lease.
Mondays during exam week, waking up and it is foggy and cold, realizing how much you have left to do and pack, getting bad news about your lease, losing a favourite ring.
Mondays during exam week, waking up and it is foggy and cold, realizing how much you have left to do and pack, getting bad news about your lease, losing a favourite ring, and finishing a series of television.
Mondays during exam week, waking up and it is foggy and cold, realizing how much you have left to do and pack, getting bad news about your lease, losing a favourite ring, finishing a series of television, and realizing you have to start saying good byes, because many of your friends are graduating, and no one has the time to give a proper goodbye, and you get blisters on your feet.

Mondays.

-Mondays when the sun starts brightly shining,
-Mondays when the lease gets worked out,
-Mondays when you wear a nice outfit,
-Mondays when you breathe,
-Mondays when you finish a take home exam,
-Mondays when you eat peaches,
-Mondays when you wear prescription sunglasses,
-Mondays when you walk downtown,
-Mondays when you see a wonderful friend,
-Mondays when you get good news,
-Mondays when you sit in a coffeeshop downtown,
-Mondays when a pretty boy from class smiles at you,
-Mondays when you cast away worries about the future,
-Mondays when you see hula-hoops,
-Mondays when you LISTEN to the birds call to each other,
-Mondays when you work out an idea for a project,
-Mondays when your mom texts,
-Mondays when you see the winter banners down, and the summer ones put up,
-Mondays when the winter wooden planks are gone from the stairs,
-Mondays when you find your ring,
-Mondays when you soak your feet with Strawberry Shortcake bubble bath.
-Mondays when you recycle,
-Mondays when everything works out,
-Mondays when you realize just how blessed you are.

That was my day. For someone who was woken up at 7am, got bad news, was stressed and sat and cried,  the day sure turned around. I walked home keeping my eyes on a purple sunset, and I could not stop smiling. Just as things happen for a reason, things don't always work out the way you want for a reason. The past few weeks I've been a bit bitter about things not working out my way and today that bitterness was broken. While walking home I was so thankful for blisters, because do you know what? Blisters are a sign of working feet. Blisters are a sign of shoes. I was so bitter and worried and stressed, and it was really hard to see the sun/son through all of the fog, but the sun/son shone through and made its way to me. When I changed my way of thinking, the day got better and brighter, and I turned my focus to the beautiful sun/son which I should have done all day, because it is always there. The sun/son helped me to glow today. For the first time in my life I was told that I had pretty eyes. I was glowing today and I think it was because I stopped complaining about the fog and I let the sun/son shine both on and through me. 

Don't let the fog cloud your vision,
look to the sun/son,
soak it up,
delight in it,
because fog is only temporary.

Have hope,

because the sun/son is eternal. 

"Red" & "Fancy"

"Own Red Shoes"
&
"Buy Fancy Shoes from a Fancy Shoe Store"

This is a goal that I haven't felt "called" to complete, but it is something I've always wanted to do. There are three ladies in my life that really inspire me, and they both wear really nice shoes. Nice shoes have no materialistic value to me, but each pair of shoes I own has a great memory attached, and symbolizes a relationship. Let's take a minute to talk about shoes. 

I recently retired my light-up Lightening McQueen shoes, because the left shoe no longer lit up. These shoes were tied to my memory of one of the first time I opened up to my university church family. 

My lime green chucks I purchased while visiting friends last May, and they remind me of graduations, and Spring Fourth, and sunny walks downtown. My pink chucks were a big surprise from my roommate who brought them back to me while she was on a trip. 

The plaid sneakers I own, are my most favourite shoes! I bought them while at SoulFest. It was the last mission trip that I participated in with my first youth pastor, and the first trip I experienced as a leader. They also remind me of a defining moment in my friendship with my music friend at university. I walked into class one day and she complimented me on my shoes and when I gazed at her feet I noticed that we had matching shoes! Compliments, especially from acquaintances and strangers mean a whole heck of a lot.

Once upon a time ago I watched a video about a girl who went to an evening youth service and as a part of the service there were small children from South Africa sharing their stories and how they never have shoes. At the end of the service there was a shoe collection, where if you felt comfortable (or I guess in this case uncomfortable enough to feel moved)to donate your shoes you could leave them at the door before you left. The girl in the video had worn her favourite red shoes to church and went through weighing the pros and cons, but remembered that she had access to more than one pair of shoes, and so she left her shoes at the door. This story moved me and some day I hope to attend a service that asks this of the participants. 

So now when I wear my new red shoes I will think of three of the women who inspire me, and I will also feel accomplished. I will think of my fabulous friend who has many beautiful pairs of high heels, (and when I say fabulous, I really do mean fabulous!). I will also think of one of my favourite professors, she always wears red shoes, whether red boots, red sandals, or red fancy shoes. She is one of the kindest and silliest females I have ever met. I will also think of one of my best friends, who would always accidentally (and coincidentally) wear her noisy red boots on days we would end up having to do research in the silent library. 

                So seeing as the sun is super bright today, 

                      why don't we all compliment one another....

                             and maybe throw on a pair of nice shoes :)

"Mission"

Today I have added a new item to my life list.
"Go on a Mission Trip".

For a long time now being a part of a mission trip has been something that I've wanted to do, but until now my heart was not in the right place. I have no preference as of where to go, but I would love to stay in a hostel, help build a house,  and most importantly, spread the Word and love of God. I don't have any specific time in my life that I'd like to do this, but I'm confident that the right opportunity will arise at the perfect time.

Right now I am at a point in my life where I have never been more joyful.
I gain more joy with each new day.
How neat would it be to spread that joy in a new culture?

How great would it be to get to go to a new place,
and see a new perspective of God at work?

To be honest, there are countless reasons why being a part of a mission trip would be amazing, I could go on and on...really, I could, but there is only one that matters. My Spirit feels moved in this direction, and I live in the excitement for the day when the opportunity arises, and I await the day when I can say "Mission Accomplished".

"Attend a Good Friday Service"

This week has been a week of firsts.

For the first time I:

+bought a pillow pet.

+went to a movie past 9pm.

+became a Macbook owner.

+sent a deck of cards in the mail.

+Spent Easter with my roommate.

+made a raspberry Jell-o Poke Cake.

+ran into a friend who was on a first date.

+rode in an elevator with a custodian's cart.

+was told that my excitement about absolutely everything is a good thing.

The best "first" was
attending a Good Friday Service for the first time.

It was a very sunny Good Friday, 

and a very snowy Easter Sunday.
I attended a Wesleyan Church service on Friday,
and a baptist one on Sunday. 

Friday was the very first time that I attended a service on Good Friday. It was the most powerful communion time I've ever experienced. A lot of the time I find myself trying really hard to be in tune with God when I'm holding a tiny piece of bread and a little cup of juice. Sometimes I look around and see people who just seem to be able to "be there", really in communion with God. This service, however, was different. I am usually all for passing the plate, I like being served by the person before me, and I like serving the person after me, but this service was so much more intimate. We were invited to go to a station when we felt moved, and partake in communion when we felt fit. It was quite the experience. I am convinced that it was because it was on Good Friday, and because I was sitting in between two sisters in Christ that absolutely inspire me. Out of all of the communion services that I have participated in, which really isn't that many, this has been the first one where my heart has been fully opened, and maybe it was the same for the three other congregations surrounding me in one sanctuary. In no way am I saying that the other 80ish communions I've participated in were superficial or meaningless, I'm just saying that the one with the deepest connection and the most stirring emotions took place on Friday. 

I have been mulling over a question since the first semester of second year of university. It was posed to me by a very wise professor. He simply asked which comes first, the ritual, or the meaning. At some points I have thought it to be the meaning, because why would someone take communion without knowing what it means? Then I kept thinking that it's impossible to truly understand the ritual without actually doing it. (What they don't tell you in a liberal arts university, and what you have to find out for yourself, is that nothing is a yes or no question.) When your essay topic is "In Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility, what is most important for marriage, wealth or love?" The only way to get an A is to defend the thought that both are important and although one should not marry on the basis of wealth alone, one would be careless to not factor it in at all. The same goes for rituals (mind you, the profs never answer these questions for you, they make the questions feed on your mind until you make the effort to figure them out). The more you partake in a ritual, the more the significane will (hopefully) grow, it is a direct relationship. 

I know that just because I've had this wonderful experience, not every time I eat a tiny piece of bread and drink a tiny bit of juice will I have this spiritual high, or as some pastors like to call it "a mountain top experience" but I now know not only that it is possible, but I know what it feels like, and I am very thankful that I invested myself into it. This experience is not one we can buy, nor is it one that we can plan, but it IS one we can prepare for. Let's open our hearts to whatever we're doing. Invest our time, effort, and ourselves. Let's open our hearts for bigger, greater possibilities. Let's wake up each morning knowing that there is a possibility for many miracles. Both the servies I went to this Easter talked about miracles, stressing that the time of miracles is not over. My friends, the best is yet to come. 

"Own a Swiss Army Knife"

I'm going to be honest, I've never known why this one has always been on my list. Maybe it's because I received a giant pencil one Christmas and my grandmother had no way to sharpen it so my grandfather pulled out his Swiss Army Knife and saved the day. Maybe it is because I've heard my mother tell the story of how a Swiss Army Knife was the first large gift she bought for a boy, and he still has it and uses it. Maybe it is because my first youth pastor always had one on his key chain and the answer was always "yes" when his wife asked him, "have you got your knife with you?" Or maybe it is because I helped my best friend to save a camper's life with a Swiss Army Knife. What ever the case, (or combination,) I have always wanted to own one. 

I had mentioned this bucket list item to a couple of my friends last year, not expecting to ever get my hands on one. Of course I could have gone out and purchased a knife for myself, but I have always been quite traditional and I feel like that is not an item you buy for yourself. You know, like your prom jewelry, your first bible, or gosh, even your first set of luggage. You know what I mean though, even if it is not one of those specific things, there are items in each family that are given as gifts as rites of passage or what have you. (Of the three things mentioned above, I owe the credit to my grandmother for each of the items I received). 

Back to the blade. Well I was very blessed last Christmas, because I received two. They were very different knives, different sizes, different colors, and from different people. To all of you women out there who think, "men never listen", I would like to rebut that, because both of these gifts came from male friends of mine. (Thank you, you two!) My friends tend to think that I am overly prepared, overly cautious, and overly out there, but I usually do have at least one knife on me at all times. I carry the small one in my wallet, and the larger one in my purse. 

So far my knives have the saved the day quite a few times. Making a snowman while waiting for the bus and need a knife to cut down branches for the arms? Got it covered. Need a pair of scissors to finish off that piece of knitting? Got it covered. Shopping with youth and need to open a package? Got it covered. Have  friends with braces who can't bite into their apples? Got it covered. Need to entertain a bunch of kids by playing "What's in Annie's Purse?" Got it covered. In class and have a hang nail? Got it covered. At work and need to frantically cut up cardboard boxes before the garbage truck comes? Got it covered. Although these are not examples of how my knife has been used to save a life, these examples demonstrate just how handy these little objects can be. I am sure that someday I will realize why it was so important for me to "Own A Swiss Army Knife", but until then... know that you can always count on me to have one.

"Own a Swiss Army Knife?" -Got it Covered.

"Quiet".

This year in general I have been spending a lot of time in the quiet, trying to define myself. I've been trying to sum up by beliefs, list my likes and dislikes, and define my personality. What I have learned is that I've been going about this the wrong way. Instead of trying to define myself and be it, I should be being myself and getting to know myself that way. I have always considered myself to be an introvert, I find quiet time rejuvenating and I love to express creativity. I don't take many risks and I have to work myself up to try new things. I was absolutely born this way and I think that is why I was hurt when I was told, "If you want to be the best you can be, you should be aiming to be more extroverted on the spectrum". For the past eight months I have been striving to be more of an extrovert. I joined a dance class (which was incredibly out of my comfort zone), I have spent more time in social settings instead of study hall, and I overall I have just tried to be "more". But "more" is tiring, and spiritually exhausting. 

Truth be told, I'm content with quiet. I'm content saying nothing in class, I'm content sitting and being still at a rock concert, and I'm very content to be in a small space with a book for a long time. (I love road trips because of this). A few weeks ago a professor of mine, knowing this, was very quick to respond to me when I raised my hand. While others are keen to raise their hands and think out their speech while talking, I'm one to do a lot of thinking and editing before I spit out the final product. Six hands had already flown up in the classroom, but the professor turned to me and said, "I actually want to hear what Annie has to say, because she doesn't often speak out in class". I'm sure that the 6 other students were frazzled by this, because they had been waiting to talk, but as Ernest Hemingway says it's what you leave out that reinforces what is left in. 

In these past few months I have discovered what I like. 

I like quiet, but I still like being with people. I get energy from being around people, but also from the quiet. The best part of my march break was spent at my grandparent's house. Nan and I spent hours just sitting reading and writing in the quiet. Nothing had to be said, because it was just the way we like it...quiet. 

(Just now, my roommate came out and said, "It's really quiet in the apartment" and then turned on the radio.)

Why are people so uncomfortable with silence?

This is a question I have been asking for a long time, and it is also a question that was asked in a sermon this morning. The pastor gave us a gift, a time of silence. There was no rambling words, meaningless phrases, or silly sayings, just silence. 

If you also like the quiet, or want to get to know it, here are some resources you might enjoy:

• One of my favourite songs is written by John Cage and is 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence. I encourage you to check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY7UK-6aaNA&feature=related
• A wonderful video done by Rob Bell in the Nooma series is a video called "Noise". http://www.youtube.com/watchv=PLOLZxMYcLU&feature=related
• And one of my favourite stories is of a professor that walked into class and sat in silence for ten minutes until his class got so uncomfortable that the room became very noisy. He then spoke about silence and how it is something to be embraced. 

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While walking through the local bookstore a certain book caught my eye. It is called "Quiet: The Power of Introverts" and is by Susan Cain. I spent the morning watching her TED talk, in which she speaks of the importance of being who you are, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. 

My issue was not that I have been trying to define myself, I think that can be healthy if not over done. My problem was in the categories. I was trying to draw a line around my self and find a place for me in either the left or the right, but I just didn't fit. If we find that we simply do not fit where we are being forced, then maybe we need to make a new category. (Hello, Martin Luther!). I did some further research and found out about Anthroverts. 

-Anthroverts are type A personalities who are very competitive. (Hello, board games and contests)

-Anthrovert are introspective. (Hello, journal, and thinking)

-Anthroverts like old things, and interesting ideas. (Hello, retro and theology)

-Anthroverts find self acknowledgement and completion of goals important. (Hello, knowing me, and life list)

-Anthroverts are lost without goals, have have a  privacy zone of about 5'11". (Hello, motivation, and space)

An anthrovert was the closest thing I could find to define my personality type, but it still isn't me. 

The more I got thinking, the more I realized exactly what I am.

I am an Annie-vert. 

We need to stop letting others define us, we need to acknowledged more than just black and white, and most of all we need to get to know ourselves. I spent the majority of my life having others tell me that I'm an introvert and that I need to embrace it. If you are like me and find yourself not quite fitting on the spectrum, maybe it's because you are on the wrong one. When we embrace who we are and not what others think we are, then and only then will we be able to be set free, and freedom is oh so sweet. 

The world needs both extroverts and introverts, 

but more importantly 

the world needs us exactly the way we are,
and the way we are meant to be.  

Today I added "Read Susan Cain's Quiet to my life list".