A Perfect 10 (year old)

When I was young, I was fearless. Where did it go? Do we see more dangers as we grow older? Do we become more afraid of death the more we live? 

When I was younger I went on almost every ride at amusement parks, I picked up jelly fish, and I never saw death as a consequence to adventure. 

From the age of 11 to the age of 20 I was a pretty fearful individual. I saw death as a real possibility. Hiking to Memel Falls was terrifying, I rarely did anything without first researching it extensively, and I wasn't brave. 

But did you know that we are meant to be courageous? Yep! It's true. 

When I turned twenty I was tired of holding myself back, and missing out on things that looked so darn fun! That was the age I bought plane tickets and flew across the world all by myself. That was the age I started going on adventures in the wilderness of Fredericton. That was the age that I began to have no fear of death. With a great hope, and a future secure, there is nothing to fear. 

Saturday I was faced with one of those questions of "Am I too scared to do this?" and sadly my initial reaction was yes. You see, at the Canada Games Centre there are some pretty nice water slides, and as I  swam in the pool watching everyone else have fun, I knew I had to give one a try. The memory of Tidal Impact 2009 when I missed out on every water slide at Magic Mountain haunted me. I wasn't going to miss out on the much smaller scale water slides before me. Not this time! I had already driven past these water slides and wished to try them, and I didn't want to continue to drive by them living with missed opportunity hanging over my head. So when begged told encouraged by a ten year old,

     "PLEASE come with me!" (If only she knew I was thinking the same thing towards her)

     "You can do it, Annie!"  (If only she knew that's the voice I was trying to find in myself)

I accepted the challenge, but I also didn't hide my fear from her. It's important to be real with kids. She assured me I'd be fine as we climbed each and every step of the towering platform, and I may have muttered, "if I get hurt...." 

So how did I feel after the water slides? I felt such a sense of sense of accomplishment! And I also felt like I'd experienced the worst wedgie of my life. (Next time I'll stick with just the yellow slide). 

I truly realized how important it is to encourage others and for us to rely on one another...even if there is an age difference! 

If you find yourself holding back from adventure, cling to a ten year old. Kids are the bravest people I know. Don't be afraid to voice your fears! Try one thing that slightly scares you! Take small steps....all the way to the top. Don't over do it. I had the encouragement to try the diving board, but you know what? Two out of three isn't bad. So because of the wonderful ten year old I met, I am able to give myself a Perfect 10 for bravery!   

Photo from the Canada Games Centre Website. 

Be Strong and Courageous, 

do not be terrified or discouraged, 

because the Lord is with you where ever you go! 

-Deut 31:6

You Can't Always Get What You Want. Thank Goodness!

You know what I like? I like not getting what I want. 

I like not getting what I want, because there always seems to be something better lined up for me. I was reminded of this on Tuesday night as I headed to the church in my community to help build the new gym. I had been looking forward to this event for over a week, and had even prepared a special ensemble. They had put a call out for anyone with carpentry skills, a passion for carpentry, or people who just want to help. I was the third category. I showed up ready to hold boards, hammer nails, and maybe even use a saw. I didn't get what I wanted. I was wasn't fast enough when it came to hammering, I wasn't strong enough when it came to the moving, and more than anything I was in the way. I wandered over to see if the electrician needed help; he didn't. I walked away and sat on a pile of lumber thinking to myself, "this isn't what I expected at all!" Things started looking up as the electrician called me over to hold a spool of cable, then to pull it and weave it behind the stud beams. Before I knew it I was wiring the new gym! I even helped decide where the outlets should go! How cool is that? There were spaces that the cord needed to be pulled through that only my arm could fit. It would have been really easy for me to think that I was fired from the carpentry side of things, but when the head carpenter asked what I was doing on the other side of the gym I proudly told him that I had been promoted to electrician's apprentice. 

As I reflected on this experience it got me thinking of other times that I haven't gotten what I wanted....and instead got something better!!!

Last summer I was really hoping that a friend of mine would be hired at a very interesting job. When she didn't get the job I was quite disappointed and maybe even frustrated, but I later found out that if she had gotten the job she wouldn't have gotten a better job offer, and I wouldn't have had one of the best summers of my life. 

I also got thinking about a guy that I dated a few years ago, and how perfect I thought the relationship would be. It's funny how things don't always line up with how we idealize imagine them to be. Our imaginations are so limited! Just like my construction project, no matter how I constructed the scenario in my mind, there was something waiting that was far better than I could have ever imagined. We can think up the best person for us, or the best job for a friend, or even how a simple volunteer project should be, but more often than not, by not getting what we want we get something so great that we couldn't even imagine wanting!

I guess I'm just doing my best to remember that the best is yet to come, and to go with the flow, because getting what we need is far better than getting what we thought we wanted any day. 

"Sometimes not getting what you want is a brilliant stroke of luck." -Lorii Myers

Marked for Replacement

After one of my last days of school I was walking home from the bus stop and stumbled (quite literally) across this section of pavement. It got me thinking, "why do they have to mark it? Isn't it obvious that it needs replacing? Is it so that the public knows that it is being worked on?" I liked my newly found sidewalk message. It assures me that those in charge have seen that this brick needs caring for, and that soon it will all be better. 

A few days later I started doing some serious weight lifting at the gym. Now, three years ago when I started this whole gym endeavour I was lifting hand weights that weighed 2lbs. My progress has been quite successful as I am up to 15lb weights, and to my surprise I can bench press half of my body weight! As I started pushing myself to do more and more, my body started to make the changes the accommodate the weights I was lifting. I learned that inorder for muscles to grow, they must first break down; the fibers tear due to the pressure, so that they can be made stronger. Being broken is healthy! Being broken means that it is making way for something stronger, and better.  As you can see...my tricep muscle fibers have been marked for replacement.

Being marked for replacement doesn't always mean that we get a super cool looking bruise, some times it means we stumble...sometimes over large chunks of concrete. Sometimes we are broken, sometimes we are those big broken chunks of concrete. But these broken times just mean that we are being made stronger, and built for better things. We just have to remember that we are never given anything we can't handle, and that the best really is yet to come. How are you marked for replacement this week? 

Trendy

I always learn things from youth group. I know I'm not considered a "youth" anymore, but I'm a big believer in learning through everything. Tonight we were going over fitting in, opinions of others, and what scripture has to say about it. Francis Chan began to talk on a video and one of the first things he said is that "you should be happy when someone puts you down for following God". This whole idea of standing apart resinated with me as I recalled an event that happened a few weeks ago.

I had recently moved in with one of my best friends and I was at school one day enjoying some tea when all of a sudden the girls at the table beside me started talking quite loudly about my roommate. They were saying things such as, "he's just so lame", and "what a downer", and my personal favourite, "and he's all about no sex before marriage, I mean, what is that?!?" 

I was faced with the situation: what do I do? Do I butt in and refute what they had to say? Do I stay quiet and listen to everything? 

No, I didn't interrupt their conversation and pipe up. I could have, and I had the courage to, but it just didn't feel right. In this particular situation, I felt that the best way to show love to the girls, to my roommate and to myself was to hear what they had to say, chuckle to myself, and share the conversation as soon as I got home. My roommate was rather excited about this conversation, and I think I was too. The things that the world sees as lame are some of the top things that I love about my roommate. Staying away from drugs, waiting until marriage to have sex, and being in the world but not of the world are demonstrations of faith, and it is my roommate's faith that gives us such a strong bond, and more importantly it is what keeps a strong bond between him and God. It's laid out pretty clearly in the bible that we are blessed when people mock us, persecute us, lie about us, and say all sorts of evil things against us because we are followers of God. 

You might think it's lame, and the table of girls might think it's lame, but I think it's rather cool to have a friend who stands up for what he believes in, and welcomes blessings no matter how they may come. 

Just because something is trendy, doesn't mean it's truth. What's trendy today, may not be tomorrow. 

May you be encouraged, filled with courage to keep on the narrow path of truth, and to always stand up for what you believe in. It is my hope that you find a bit of joy when others call you a downer for being down with the gospel and what it has to say. Don't be afraid to stand up, and don't ever be afraid to stand out. 

Here's to choosing the narrow road. 

A Year of (a) Biblical Woman(wearing a)hood

Today was a really special day for me. Today I took the time to walk around downtown and wander into my favourite (two story) used-book store: The Owl's Nest. It was one of the first of the city's treasures that I discovered when I moved to Fredericton four years ago. The store has funny comics, interesting posters, countless creepy owls to watch you peruse their books, and the store is even home to a cat named Pepper; talk about character! Anyway, today was a special day, because while walking through the store I recalled the last time I made the same trail to the Christian Non-fiction section. Way back in November I had made a solo trip similar to today's and found myself staring at, what looked to be, with a few additions or subtractions, probably the same books. November's visit to the shop had me captivated, but interestingly enough it was not because of the shelves upon shelves of gold worthy stories waiting to be explored, but it was largely due to the story I was hearing. 

The radio was tuned in to CBC, yet another reason to be fascinated with this place, and an interview was airing about a new "Christian book" (I use the term so that you know what I mean, and I use the quotation marks because a book cannot decide to follow Jesus, and I have a pet peeve of things being declared 'sacred' or 'secular' and the like) by a Christian woman who decided to live a year of biblical womanhood. What really caught my attention was the fact that it was banned in most Christian bookstores, because it contained the word vagina. (Well there goes my hopes of this blog ever being promoted at one of the 5 bookstores in the city.) I thought that was rather crazy seeing as Christian women have the same anatomy as non-Christian women, and you know what, bookstore owners? That word you're banning had a part in your coming to be, just so you know. 

Any who, back to what's important. I was instantly filled with the "people should read it for themselves and discern if this book should be read. I should read that book!" I paid for a copy of Eugene Peterson's The Message (so that I have one to lend), and rushed home to google the CBC interview, and scramble to remember the author's name...err Rachel something. I decided I would read this book. So, schoolwork happened, months went by, and then I came across this author's blog. Right! I want to read that book. I ordered it through my university library's documentary delivery service...and a couple weeks later I caught news of the book from a library in NJ waiting for me. 

I couldn't put it down. Seriously. The past couple days have been nothing but book for me. Book in the sun, book on the bus, book walking downtown while people dodged me on my way to The Owl's Nest. You have got to read it. By the way have I mentioned that the book is called A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans? Yeah, you should probably know that. 

It's about a woman who looks at passages of scripture addressing or pertaining to women about lifestyle, dress, and everything in between. Each month she focuses on a different virtue of biblical womanhood: January was valor, April -purity, June -submission, etc. For 365 days she didn't cut her hair,  she devoted herself to the duties of the home, and dressed modestly. You might be thinking she's crazy, but it truly is good to subject ourselves to things like this (at the very least reading about them) so that we may be aware of what it meant/means to live a life of biblical womanhood, and so that we may decide for ourselves what is relevant today for our individual lives. 

What I liked best about the book was how everything was backed up with scripture, and it wasn't one of those flip and find kind of books it was a "I'm doing this, because in this verse it says ......". I liked that the book read like a story...err...a compilation of blog posts. Rachel was honest with what she struggled with, what she didn't want, and the times that she spent crying on the kitchen floor, because yes, it happens to the best of us. Not only does she dig deep about scripture directed towards women, but she also includes stories of women from the bible who can often be overlooked. 

I'm going to be honest...there was one thing I didn't like about the book, and it was through no fault of Rachel's; there were more than a few references to the consumption of guinea pigs. My little M&Ms (Mary and Martha) have such a special place in my heart that I some how managed to forget that in some countries my little girlies would be supper. I'm going to have to work on forgetting that. 

I left The Owl's Nest and came home to finish the last few pages of A Year of Biblical Womanhood that I was savouring. Just as this journey to and through Rachel's book began with my favourite bookstore, with that it ended. 

I feel as though I know Rachel. I'm pretty sure we'd be good friends. (She retweeted me, thanking me for reading the book, so that signifies friendship...right?) I felt as though I was right along side her throughout the steps of her journey. Many of the things she was thinking, I often think. Many of the things she struggles with, I struggle with, and her river of writing is quite similar to that of mine. A good author leaves readers feeling full, but a great author leaves readers overflowing. This is what I am, overflowing. I feel so encouraged to write, so excited to read, and so inspired to live,-live a life of biblical womanhood that is, a life of figuring out exactly what that means to me. 

In other news:  "Read A Year of Biblical Womanhood" is now in my bucket.  

You can buy the book is on sale for 12ish dollars and you can buy it here! 

Here are some great quotes from the book:

"We all wrestle with how to interpret and apply the Bible to our lives. We all go to the text looking for something and we all have a tendancy to find it. So the question we have to ask ourselves is this: Are we reading with the prejudice of love or are we reading with the prejudices of judgement and power, self-interest and greed? 

      If you are looking for Bible verses with which to support slavery, you will find them. If you are looking for verses with which to abolish slavery, you will find them....This is why there are times when the most instructive question to bring to the text is not, what does it say? but what am I looking for?" (296). 

"The apostles never meant for their letters to be interpreted and applied as law in the same way that the Torah had been, so careful readers must do the hard work of sorting through which instructions might continue to illuminate and guide the modern church, and which are more specific to the context..."(260).  In the same letter to Timothy that Paul writes about women not having authority over men, he also writes that 'men everywhere should pray, lifting holy hands..' (1 Timothy 2:8). There's all kinds of good stuff and historical context in this book about women and leadership in the church...which, incase you didn't know, I'm all for if they feel called by God. 

"Some rabbis say that, at birth, we are each tied to God with a string, and that every time we sin, the string breaks. To those who repent of their sins, especially in the days of Rosh Hashanah, God sends the angel Gabriel to make knots in the string, so that the humble and contrite are once again tied to God. Because each one of us fails, because we all lose our way on the path to righteousness from time to time, our strings are full of knots. So the person with many sins but a humble heart is closer to God" (303). -What a heart-warming way to look at repentance. 

"But according to Ahava, the woman described in Proverbs 31 is not some ideal that exists out there; she is present in each one of us when we do even the smallest things with valor" (90). 

"For Brother Lawerence, God's presence permeated everything- from the pots and pans in the kitchen sink to the water and soap that washed them. Every act of faithfulness in these small tasks communicated his love for God and desire to live in perpetual worship. 'It is enough for me to pick up a straw from the ground for the love of God,' he said" (29). 

"The apostle's elevation of singleness as the ideal stands in stark contrast to the modern Church's fixation on marriage and family. Singles were celebrated in the Church then, and should be now" (107-108). 

"In fact, it seems that most of the Bible's instructions regarding modesty find their context in warnings about materialism..(128). She earlier mentions that modesty is about so much more than clothing. A large part of it is presenting ourselves in a way that our inner self is allowed to shine through. It is a state of mind. It is order, self control, and simplicity. 

Enjoy Yourself

"Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think,

Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink.

The years go by, as quickly as a wink,

Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it's later than you think."

These lyrics have been floating around in my mind as I come to terms with the big move that I'm about to have. It't not big because I have a lot of stuff, nor due to the distance. It is a big move, because it is going to cause a lot of change in my life.

Today I reminded myself that it really is later than I think.
My four years in Freddy are almost done!!!

So today I:

+ Used up the credit I had earned at the Christian bookstore. (Woo hoo!)

+ Submitted one of my last papers (Hallelujah!)

+ Enjoyed sitting in the gym waiting for my roommate.

+ Made friends with my building's plumber. (Shout out to Jack!)

+ Made friends with the lady who runs Tae Kwon Do at the gym. (Hey new Buddy: Barb!)

+ At a cheeseburger

+ Slept in until 7:30!

+ Stepped out on to the balcony and breathed in the fresh air.

+ Was incredibly patient as I waited 22 minutes at Value Village to pick up a gift certificate.

+ Used up the rest of my Photocopy card at the library (wont be needing that!)

+ Called one of my best friends.

+ Drove around Fredericton breathing in the blessings.

There are many things here that I am going to miss, but I would have missed more if I didn't take time to enjoy myself. Time for some exam prep, and paper writing!

Enjoy your day!

No EquiveLENT

The season of Lent has come and gone, and I've been reunited with my favourite food group. Let me tell you, after 46 days without almost all of my favourite foods, the meat that I tasted Easter morning was fantastic. My roommate woke up to the smell of maple bacon and to me sitting in the living room staring at my full plate of bacon. My weekend was filled with ham, bacon, turkey, AND a CHEESEBURGER! Oh glorious cheeseburgers. Just so you know...I have a bit of a passion for cheeseburgers....one of my professors even named my Cheeseburger Girl after the first week of class. There were almost tears in my eyes when my friend Ashley suggested we make burgers. I devoured my burger, and with the last bite in my mouth, I made room for the words, "this may be the Lent speaking, but that was the best burger I've ever tasted." 

So what were the 46 days like?

The first couple of weeks were quite difficult, not because of the withdrawal, but because of the limiting food options. My first night at my mom's house with no meat, she listed off foods that she had that I could eat...one being chicken noodle soup. My breakfast sandwiches had to become "fried egg sandwiches", stir frys had to become meatless, and eating out was near impossible. Instead of my usual "2 Cheeseburgers with just ketchup"...I was left with only fries. When my grandparents treated me to a meal at the Big Stop I realized just how unaccommodating menus are to vegetarians. EVERYTHING on the menu was made with meat...even all three of the soup options. I ended up ordering a chicken salad (without the chicken), but I enjoyed the cranberries and mandarine oranges that were added. My friends didn't make it easy for me...every time we shared a meal I was always offered meat. I can still remember the 20th day of Lent. I hadn't smelled bacon in 20 days and my roommate decided to make some. I had to physically go in my room and shut the door. These 46 days were very prayerful days. 

I was surprised to learn that other restaurants have hidden vegetarian options, such as Burger King. I enjoyed my first ever veggie burger while driving home to Nova Scotia one night. Swiss Chalet also delighted my taste buds with a fancy veggie burger. Food options at Sobeys pleasantly surprised me with delicious simulated Chicken nuggets, and "interesting" veggie ground beef. But none of this really matters...because even though all these vegetarian options contained the same amount of nutrients as meat and claimed to be the equiveLENT of eating meat... there is no substitute for the real thing. I relied on prayer for energy, which worked well, but I still ended up dropped quite a few pounds, which is not something I set out to do. After looking in the mirror after my large plate of bacon, I saw noticed that I had that just-eaten-meat glow. It didn't matter how many man made "meats" I tried...nothing was an adequate equiveLENT. Nothing ever compares to the real thing. I gained a lot of respect for vegetarians, but I gained a whole lot more insight into God's love...nothing will ever compare to the real thing. No matter where I turn to find joy, peace, and love...nothing will ever nourish me like God. 

There you have it. 

If God's love is kind of like a cheeseburger, then give me a burger and call me Cheeseburger Girl. 

Photo cred to my roommate who enjoyed this moment almost as much as me.